The beginning: Finley's birth story, part 3

amanda — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 13:41:52 +0200

Liza welcomed us into the apartment. It was a rental she used for meeting clients in Durban since her practice was in Ballito. We sat down and she offered us some tea. Before it was cool enough to drink, I knew that she would be the one to assist us in our home birth.

When she talked to us it felt like she was trying to get to know us, not just take down our medical history. And when she asked me how I was feeling, she didn't just mean physically. She wanted to know how the pregnancy was effecting our relationship and how we were both handling it. I came armed with my lists of questions (as you do when interviewing prospective caregivers) and didn't even need to pull them out. She put me at ease about all the things I was worried about. And it was so refreshing to speak to someone who felt the same way that we did - that birth was a natural and normal process and not something that needed to be controlled in a hospital environment.

I was so relaxed during the examination, and so impressed by her thoroughness. Not only did she do the usual height, weight, pee on a stick, blood pressure check, etc, but she checked my alignment to see what my posture was like, she palpated my belly and could tell me which way he was lying. I was so impressed at this ancient skill that could derive all this information like how many weeks pregnant I was, how big he was, all without any ultrasound technology, just by touch, incredible.

My weightless shoulders sang with joy at the relief of finding Liza and knowing that our plan for a home birth in Durban was going ahead. She had given us a list of what we needed for the birth, I was going to be back in Durban around 35 weeks and we made an appointment to meet with her then.

The beginning: Finley's birth story, part 2

amanda — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 15:27:59 +0200

Part 2

So before I carry on with the birth story, here is a bit of background information for those of you who don't already know.

We were living in Grahamstown and had spent a few months trying to find a midwife who was willing to do a home birth. My sister-in-law had a home birth with my niece earlier that year and that definitely planted the seed in my mind. After doing extensive research into the subject including reading Frederick Leboyer's views on what birth (in a hospital environment) is actually like for the baby, I had my heart set on a home water birth. Unfortunately, finding a midwife/doctor in the Eastern Cape who was willing to do a home birth with a first-time mom was impossible. The next best option would be to find an active birthing unit or birth centre. If I recall correctly, the closest thing we could find was in a hospital in PE (1.5 hr drive away from Grahamstown) which had a water birth facility but after speaking to various nurses and midwives they all told me that it was hardly used because the doctors discouraged the patients from using them since they (ob/gyns) weren't very experienced in delivering babies in/through water.

So back to square one. My mom had a friend who had 2 home births in Durban and had put me in touch with the midwife who had assisted her in delivery. Brad and I are both from Durban and both our families still live there. My parents were still living in the same house that I was brought home from the hospital to, that I grew up in, and even if I couldn't have a home birth in my own home in Grahamstown, this was the next best thing. Of course I had to make sure that they were all okay with the whole home birth idea and had to accept that although they were supportive, they had their concerns. I tried to pass on as much information as I could that helped them to realise that birthing your baby at home was the most common, natural way to give birth in the whole world. It also helped that my sister-in-law had a home birth earlier that same year, so they had already accepted that this was a safe and responsible option.

We had planned a trip to Durban in August for my cousin's (the same one who is now pregnant) wedding (I was about 6 months pregnant) and I had made an appointment to see the midwife while we were there. I remember that first visit so clearly. It was a windy day and we were meeting her at an apartment near the beach front. We had borrowed Brad's dad's Pajero and I remember negotiating the big step down onto the pavement with my big belly, trying not to let my skirt blow up over my head. I was nervous and excited as we pressed the button on the elevator door and rode up 9 floors to meet her.