Sleep is for the week

A few months ago Mandy posted about Finley and his sleep habits, how we were acquiring a copy of Elizabeth Pantley's No-Cry Sleep solution. We acquired the book, we started a routine, things improved a bit; when I say improved I mean we went from waking every hour to waking every two hours. Everything got a bit muddled when we went to Durban last month. I went for a week, and Mandy and Finley stayed on for another two weeks. Finley is almost 10 months old now, and crawling, drooling, and babbling like a mad man.

Our first night in Durban was terrible, we spent most of the night awake (at one stage I think Mandy even slept on the floor for a bit). We were fools when we arrived in Durban, our brains hazy with delight, wallowing in the warmth of the spring evening. We left the windows wide open, to enjoy the delicious air, and let every mosquito in the greater eThekwini area join us for the night. Finley made it clear he was unhappy about the combination of mozzies, eczema, and double bed (we normally sleep on a queen, not complaining, just observing).

We were buggered, ready to palm the child off to the nearest family member and sleep until tomorrow. Then something strange happened on the second night, Fin slept pretty well. We attributed it to our newly acquired Comfry lotion (Dr. Dwyer advised us to A) give Finley carrots and apples, and B) get hold of comfry lotion). Each night was better and better, Finley slept for longer periods, his eczema was improving, and the techniques from the Pantly book were working like a charm. By the end of the trip Finley was falling asleep like clockwork at 6:30pm, waking two to three times during the night, and being in very good spirit.

We attributed his previous wakings to the emergence of his first teeth and his itchy eczema. We were winning the war that has no name, and is waged in new parents bedrooms across the world. By the time Mandy and Finley returned to Grahamstown his eczema had become almost negligible, he was falling asleep like clockwork, sleeping like clockwork, and we were ready to open a new chapter. Plans change in a heartbeat.

Finley broke out in eczema within minutes of arriving in PE, and it got steadily worse over the next few days, the comfry cream gave minor relief, but nothing more. Eczema was back, and throwing a party on Fin's tummy and back.

We wrote off the first night of wakings to bad debts since we figured he was getting used to Grahamstown again, getting used to two parents in his bed, calming down from the stress of travel, etc. But, two weeks on, and Finley is back to his pre-Durban sleep pattern, waking almost every hour. Except now he can crawl, so if he wakes up enough then he wants to move around a bit, which is not as fun as it sounds. Mandy is like a zombie warrior, sorting him out at night. I am not quite the zombie she is (since I sleep through every second wake up, and fall asleep in a heartbeat), but 9pm is the end of me.

We have started a new phase though, trying to get him out of our bed, so at least we have space to sleep and cuddle, even if it is disturbed. We have put our mattress on the floor, and made a side bed for Finley, with the eventual plan to have him in a cot once he is sleeping better. Tonight is the second night with this new set up, and hopefully we are on a course of improved sleep. Both of us are going a bit potty with the lack of sustained sleep, and some days can be real challenging. We are not alone though, at least two other families in our antenatal group have pretty much the same story to tell, so we are not alone (yay).

This whole situation gives one respect for parents across the world (including my own), it is the knowing look that we give each other, the understanding nod. The parent club can be rough to get into, and kids don't come with warning labels (although you should piece it together within minutes of hearing that special newborn cry that reeks of icecream headaches). Love spreads far though, and having a peek over the mountain during the Durban period gives me hope. The most sage advice I have heard so far is that "Every stage has it's challenges", and I know his next stage will bring special challenges, but I think I can say I am ready for this challenge to be replaced. His cuteness wins a lot of points though, so I think we are on an even keel.

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